Coming Out at Work

I am in the process of coming out at work. As I mentioned earlier this month, I came out to a coworker and it went so well I started thinking seriously about coming out to everyone and beginning to use they/them pronouns on the job. I told that coworker that I was thinking about telling our boss and asking to use they/them at work, and she was very encouraging.

So I spoke to my boss.

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Coming Out at Work?

I came out to a coworker yesterday. I used the word “queer” to talk about myself, out loud, for the first time ever. It came up organically in a really good conversation and her reaction was completely perfect. She took it completely in stride, no surprise, no judgement, and – most importantly for me – no questions.

I am an extremely private person. I am more or less neurotically private. My coworker knows that; everyone knows that. And so she talked about how good it is that people are finding the words that describe themselves without pressing about what my words are. I didn’t have to go into detail. I find it hard to come right out and say anything more specific, because my specific identities are not well-known and the idea of having to explain myself, or even worse, justify myself, is nightmarish to me.

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Quotes: Indifference

For the last year or so, I’ve been writing down book quotes that have particularly resonated with me, the words I want to remember because they’re so fitting.

One I’ve been thinking about a lot lately is from One Bloody Thing After Another by Joey Comeau:

But it was her first kiss, and the first sign of her indifference to boys. She’d been indifferent before then, of course. But indifference is hard to notice until you’re in a situation where you’re supposed to care.

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